I’m a talker. The guy I matched with was a talker too, so we had a lot to say. His Tinder profile was minimal – no photograph, few words – but I was intrigued as he quoted Einstein. I was slightly intimidated by his intelligence, his way with words, the way he could manipulate them, spin them and create visions in my mind so powerful it was as if he was in the same room as me. Through the medium of message, I connected with a man I had never met. I shared information about myself that even my best friends didn’t know. (They do now.) I felt like I could tell him anything, and I did.
I wanted to meet him though. We set a date and it couldn’t come soon enough. I was filled with both excitement and fear. It felt incredible to be so clearly wanted in a primal way by another human; I kept pinching myself with disbelief. Me! I mean really? What could anyone see in me? I pushed those thoughts to once side. I had agreed to meet this man, this stranger from the internet, in a hotel room. This is what people do these days though, isn’t it. I’m being modern, I thought to myself.
#1 Lesson Learned: Be cautious with information you reveal about yourself, until you have met in person. Less is more!
A desire to please runs through me so strongly, that it is a part of who I am, so it was unquestionable for me to ever back out. I believe actions speak louder than words (apart from when you’re writing a blog) and it is the sincerity of your actions that determine the type of person you are. I do my best to live my life supporting friends and family as much as possible, at times to my own detriment. I am proud to say that I have redressed this balance, as unless I am strong, I cannot provide strength to others.
On my way to the hotel room, it fleetingly crossed my mind that I was being risky. Off the charts risky. Of course I was, but that was part of the excitement. I had been given instructions by the man to follow, and I followed these to the letter.
I wore clothes that were too tight, and exposed too much skin. I had too much make up on. I was in a place I was unfamiliar with. In short, I was pretending to be someone else, someone I desperately wanted to be. Someone fearless and beautiful. Somehow, my feet had carried me to the door of the room. I raised my fist and knocked weakly, then turned around. I’d agreed that he would see me before I saw him. I waited there for an eternity, my heart climbing into my throat. I heard the door open, and took a deep breath. He placed his hands on my shoulders firmly and kissed my neck. Let’s go for a drink then shall we? he said cheerily. I stumbled slightly against him and he caught me. Relief flooded through me, as I realised exactly how risky a situation I had gotten into.
#2 Lesson learned: Always meet in a public place. Anyone asking to meet in private the first time is not worth meeting. No matter how exciting it may feel, it is a crazy amount of risk. Tell a friend where you are going and agree to check in with them at a certain time.
Conversation flowed as easily in person as it had via messages, and yes, I did go with him back to his hotel, and no, you don’t get to know about that. All’s well that ended well, thankfully, for this naive mama.
Misty K xoxo