Reliable fun

After the last disasterous encounter, I was put off swiping for a while. But, the call of the ‘ping’ to indicate a match became too strong, so I succumbed once again to the swiping game. *sigh*

Lazily swiping through the familiar stack of photographs – group shot…left, blurry shot…left, photo with kid…left, photo with gorgeous woman kissing him…left – I finally swiped right on a minimal profile, a photograph of a guy, but side-on to the camera, and a word that made my heart beat a little faster – dominant. We matched. Ooooh, it was a bit real-life ’50 shades’ (though I’ve not read the book, I know the gist), and in the initial chat, it was clear this chap was no nonsense.

Usual checklist applied: taller than me, some ambition, attractive, and younger (of course) .  I try to keep an open mind when swiping;  the guys don’t all have the same ‘look’ (for example hipster guy, topknot man, approachable guy-next-door).  If I liked the look of them and their profile revealed a little of their personality, they were usually winners.

We met in a wine bar.

I arrived a minute before he did and decided to order a glass of pink wine.  I was wearing my interpretation of posh clothes; a navy velvet skirt and crop top co-ord with black ankle boots.  He was dressed in shirt and trousers and had an air of confidence which I certainly didn’t feel.  He smiled warmly at me, ordered a drink for himself and paid for both. smoooooooth  We sat next to each other but not too close.  Having done the getting-to-know-you chit chat already via messages, we started to discuss a sexual relationship almost straight away!  I was a little blown away, as twenty years ago, I was very much used to this ice-breaking chat and recall the “Where are you from?”, “What course are you studying?” “What music do you like?” (the latter being the most important question, as the reply would determine if the individual was worth continuing conversation with or if in fact, they liked Oasis, while I liked Blur – Alex James c’mon).

I answered his probing questions as openly and fully as possible.  I could feel myself squirming in the seat next to him, and then worried that I was drinking my wine too quickly.  He was kind though, despite the intensity of the questioning.  He said he needed to make sure I was ‘right’.  Right for what?  I didn’t ask.  He encouraged me to reply to messages from friends, saying if they knew I was on a date meeting someone new, I should let them know how things are going.  This level of open-ness was a little unnerving too, I had thought that the girl goes to the toilets and texts her mates there?  Maybe this is how ‘modern man’ operates!

Another two glasses of wine later (on a school night!) and I was nattering away quite happily.  He seemed to be observing me, looking amused, like I was some kind of cute distraction, and I can honestly say I quite enjoyed it.  All previous lessons were being put to good use, and no red flags were raised.

He was very keen that we were both tested prior to beginning any kind of sexual relationship, as it’s just sensible and good practise!  I told him I had been, but the results take about a week to arrive.

I went home with him and had sex.  It was a lot of fun!

Results arrived later that week, and I had chlamydia.  Eye roll. I told him and we took medication.  It was sorted quickly and after two weeks I was re-tested and it was negative. Phew!   I was impressed by his attitude.  It wasn’t a big deal, just an annoyance, and we went on to see each other for sex, on an off for about 10 months.

I’m running out of clean stories, so be warned that future ones are likely to contain adult content.




Author: hotterthanyourmama

I am a 38-year-old mama, obsessed with dating.

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